


FN-2187

by Precipice



Series: keyhole-shaped worlds [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Gen, because canon threw me a bone and called it a skeleton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 17:41:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20295430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Precipice/pseuds/Precipice
Summary: (Who am I?)(Who am I without the First Order?)(I am myself.)(I am my self.)[ a vignette ]





	FN-2187

The truth about the First Order

(a truth which Finn learns later but not too late)

is that it is neither first nor an Order.

It is a machine.

A machine, cobbled together with bloody spit and bitter spite, built upon the Empire’s ruins, built from the Empire’s remains.

A machine born from war.

A machine born for war.

***

Another truth

(of which Finn is a symptom and evidence)

(of which Finn is a symbol and proof)

is that machines break down.

***

There has been a leak.

The officers do their best – or perhaps their worst – to plug it up, to clean it up, to hush it up.

But it has already soaked into the ground, and no matter how much they stomp and sweep and slice, they can never get it out.

It trickles through unseen cracks and hidden crevices.

("I was taken.")

It trickles down rank and file.

("I was taken from my family." )

It trickles into ears and hearts.

("We were all taken from our families.")

***

The truth about lies

(something which Finn learns later but not too late)

is that the best lies - or perhaps the worst - contain a grain of truth.

***

They speak about it, in dark corners and late hours, on ships and stations and settlements. The stars beyond the metal walls appear to shiver in confusion. 

“What is a family?”

“Family is...”

“Family is…”

“Family is…”

They speak about it, with voices so quiet that the words seem to come from their hearts and not from their mouths.

“Family is the people who birth you.”

“Family is the people who raise you.”

“Family is the people who want you.”

***

Troopers begin to disappear.

It is not unheard of, not exactly. The reconditioning procedure is known to take its toll – except that toll is usually in memories, rarely in lives.

Troopers used to return – tight-lipped and empty-eyed, but alive. Now they disappear, never to be seen again.

They have been speaking – asking questions, seeking answers.

And the First Order has been responding.

***

FN-2187 does not speak, but he listens.

(“The First Order is your family.”)

(“Family is the people who birth you.”)

(“The First Order made you.”)

(“Family is the people who raise you.”)

(“The First Order trained you.”)

(“Family is the people who want you.”)

(“The First Order needs you.”)

***

FN-2187 does not ask questions, but he seeks answers.

(What is want?)

(What is need?)

(What is the difference?)

***

(Who am I?)

(I am FN-2187.)

***

(Who am I?)

(I am FN-2187.)

***

(Who am I?)

(I am FN-2187.)

***

(Who am I?)

(Who am I without a family?)

(I am FN-2187.)

(This is who I am without a family.)

***

(Who am I?)

(Who am I without the First Order?)

(I am myself.)

(I am my self.)

***

He finds the grains of truth, picks them out and tucks them away.

(Out of his mind.)

(Away in his heart.)

He finds that the lies taste rotten now, so he spits them out.

(Out of his mind.)

(Out of his heart.)

(Out of his soul.)

***

He finds

(later but not too late)

that the grains of truth have born the fruit of courage.

**Author's Note:**

> *considers the implications of Finn knowing that he was taken from his family* bruh


End file.
